I just found out my husband is having an affair, and I”m just trying to process it. I want to know everything about her, and I can’t help but want to ask questions – but will this do me any good?
For some background, he says it’s not been going on long, but he doesn’t plan on stopping seeing her, and that our marriage has ultimately come to an end…not because of her, but just run it’s course.
I want to know everything about her – including a photograph. I want to know the woman that now has my husbands heart. What is your advice on this? Is it better to not know? I can’t help but ask all the questions about how they met and how they first got together, but he won’t give specifics.
I’m just trying to process feelings and I feel like knowing everything about this other woman would help. What do you think?
THE MISTER SAYS:
Think carefully about your motivation for seeing this image as you could be opening yourself up to a world of pain.
If I were the husband I would be very reluctant to send it as it could open up a whole can of worms. so if I ultimately had to send an image I’d be torn between wanting to send one that makes her look as amazing as possible, and one that hides as many of her charms as possible. One things for sure though…
If I did have to send one I certainly wouldn’t send her the one with my mistress dressed up as a schoolgirl with a bright red bottom from the recent spanking I have given her !!
THE MISTRESS SAYS:
I think certainly the less you know about this woman the better. It’s like when you are in a new relationship and occasionally you ask about the exes, only to find the more you know about them, the less you wish you did.
You don’t want to be picturing them together, and the more you know, the more you can, and then the more you will build it up in your head.
Knowing what she looks like won’t change the fact that your husband is shacking her – especially if he still IS shacking up with her.
Deal with what you know and process that one step at a time. Then you will be strong and emotionally prepared for that first moment you see a photo of the two of them together.
Although, if this had happened to us, I must say I would be tempted to send that schoolgirl picture. It’s f***ing hot!